The Nature of Selfishness

I think selfishness is a trait that most humans are naturally born with. Some are better at curbing the desire to throw the 3-year old temper tantrum of “I want what I want when I want it” but no one is perfect. Lying deeply in almost everyone is the tendency to be focused on ourselves and what fits our needs.

About a year (or maybe even a year and half ago) my best friend called me with news that she and her husband were planning to move to Papua New Guinea. I didn’t know how to react because all I could think of is the fact that I would be losing my best friend for however many years that they would be leaving. After an alarming tone in my voice, she comforted me with the fact that it was still very distant off in the future. I think we all forget, sometimes, how fast time flies.

Because I have IM up on my computer at work, I get updates at the bottom of my screen when I receive emails and I would be lying if I didn’t say that I readily retrieve my emails if it has anything to do with Facebook. Forgetting that I joined the group “Weir Going…to Papua New Guinea”, an email came across my screen from Caleb (Adrienne’s husband). Reading it, nothing was shocking. I’ve heard most of it before. But, then came the hard trust of the last bullet point that read, “If all goes according to plan, leave for PNG Jan 2010.” Despite “if” being set in all capital letters, my heart sank.

To me, it was enough to lose friends to states such as California, Arkansas, Pennsylvania and North Carolina and you would think that growing up would aid you in better handling yourself with such information….but darn it! I want to be selfish. Although I know this is the best step for my best friend and her family, I still feel selfish. I still think of the Christmas’s that I will drive through NC and not be able to stop and see them, about the trips that we may want to plan that she won’t be able to attend, about little Ben growing up and me not being able to see him for a couple of years.

So, I will wallow, if only for a short time, in my pity of distancing once again from people I love. It is a year away, “IF” not more….but I still cannot help but think of all the things that will be missed.